In the beginning

I suppose it all began in a small bedroom with the motherly cries of pain at the expulsion of a new life into the world, the panic stricken faces of onlookers reflecting the helplessness of both mother and new born child. I cried with my first in take of breath, so I’m told.

Apparently I was an introspective baby, with my mother placing a mirror over my mouth to check that I was still breathing, I was so quiet. Why I was made this way I will never know, but that is how it was and still is.

My earliest memory, ironically, was sitting in a pub garden during a wedding reception, it was sunny and the grass was soft and full and I was at the height of my imagination playing with a toy fire engine a distant relative had bought me that day. Never again have I seen that toy in my memories and I miss that fire engine, because it was my first joy. I remember vividly the warmth of the sun and the peace I felt surrounded by the feeling of singular anonymity, projected by my wonderings of how this bright red fire engine was in my hand as I played until the memory faded.

As I write this I search the elusive past for more detail and this single event has stuck in my head, may be it was the generosity of the unknown person that has stayed with me throughout my life, that has made me the man I am today.

Thus starts my journey.

As I lay on the floor of a family gathering, and these gatherings were large, I gasped for breath as a well meaning relative rib tickled me until I could no longer laugh, my lungs bursting and yet they still didn’t let up. This harrowing experience can be seen in many people today and I don’t reveal this event seeking anything other than a comraderie with all the other tickled adults of childhood in the world. It is my belief that a fundamental realisation occurred in me at this point in my life, a change that was irreversible, it was called “leave me alone you bastards!"